Air Force One Stairs Replaced With Slide So Biden Can’t Fall
The stairs on Air Force One have been replaced with a rubber slide so President Biden will not fall when exiting the presidential aircraft. This news comes just days after the White House elected to have Biden start using the lower, smaller staircase on the jet.
"President Biden is in perfect health," an aide said. "He just likes slides - it reminds him of when he used to stalk little kids on the playground."
President Biden has been seem stumbling multiple times while ascending and descending the aircraft stairs. Many solutions were proposed by his staff, including tying helium balloons to the President to make him lighter, but the risk of the President inhaling too much helium was determined to be too high.
The White House continues to deny that President Biden is aging - in fact they say he is actually getting younger. A source close to the President confirmed this claim, citing the President's interest in young girls as proof of his youth and virility.